In Retrospect..
So as the month of Paul-uary draws to a close, let's take a look back at what happened in the month of me
1. I had a few free dinners
2. I had a few free drinks
3. I had a few people buy into the concept of a Paul-uary
Was the popularity of Paul-uary successful? Not so much, but it's a start. I'm sure even Black History Month when it first started in 1926 took some time to really get going. In fact if it weren't for TV commercials and BET comedians, most people probably wouldn't even realize that Black History Month existed. I mean does anyone here even know that we have an Asian History Month? Of course not, because there's no commercials or tributes on TV to remind you.
(by the way, it's in May)
So what I'm suggesting is that I need commercials, radio airtime, maybe even a month-long miniseries about me on PBS, chock full of black-and-white photos and other archival Paul footage. Morgan Freeman narrates. Ken Burns produces. Others talk of me, interspersed with stand-up footage and home video of me singing "Little Drummer Boy" in 2nd grade. Then and only then will Paul-uary become a household phenomenon.
So I'm trying to clean out my apartment as I move into new digs and I'm flooded with loose change. I have a penny infestation, and I can't rid myself of it because pennies are completely worthless. They don't have the same privileges that other coins have. They're not allowed in tollbooths, parking meters won't take them, vending machines won't accept them. You hand them to a homeless man and he'll flick them right back at you. The other coins know the penny's useless too. From left to right, place a quarter, dime, nickel, and penny right next to each other. The penny's the only one where the president is facing to the right. The other ones are facing to the left, almost as if they're disgusted and don't want to be associated with him ..
"Pssh. How dare he bring his cheap ass even near us. The only thing he's good for is scratching lottery tickets!"
The only reason I even have so much change is because my friend kept telling me to put all my change in a jar and six months from now I'll be surprised as to how much money I have in that jar. Yeah, I'll be lugging that jar to the bank, in a wheelbarrow.
"This is the heaviest 10 bucks ever. I wish someone would rob me."
The only time I ever defend the penny is whenever I see those 1-800-COLLECT commercials that claim "You can't get much for a buck these days"
Really? You ever taken 100 pennies and put them inside a wet tube sock and knocked somebody upside the head with it? You can get their wallet and their car keys .. and THAT'S what you can get for a buck these days.
$350, a Visa card, and a Daewoo.
I'll be christening my new apartment sometime during Black History Month. Come over and bring a cupcake.
Oh and today's my mom's birthday. Thank you for the "knickers" joke.
1. I had a few free dinners
2. I had a few free drinks
3. I had a few people buy into the concept of a Paul-uary
Was the popularity of Paul-uary successful? Not so much, but it's a start. I'm sure even Black History Month when it first started in 1926 took some time to really get going. In fact if it weren't for TV commercials and BET comedians, most people probably wouldn't even realize that Black History Month existed. I mean does anyone here even know that we have an Asian History Month? Of course not, because there's no commercials or tributes on TV to remind you.
(by the way, it's in May)
So what I'm suggesting is that I need commercials, radio airtime, maybe even a month-long miniseries about me on PBS, chock full of black-and-white photos and other archival Paul footage. Morgan Freeman narrates. Ken Burns produces. Others talk of me, interspersed with stand-up footage and home video of me singing "Little Drummer Boy" in 2nd grade. Then and only then will Paul-uary become a household phenomenon.
So I'm trying to clean out my apartment as I move into new digs and I'm flooded with loose change. I have a penny infestation, and I can't rid myself of it because pennies are completely worthless. They don't have the same privileges that other coins have. They're not allowed in tollbooths, parking meters won't take them, vending machines won't accept them. You hand them to a homeless man and he'll flick them right back at you. The other coins know the penny's useless too. From left to right, place a quarter, dime, nickel, and penny right next to each other. The penny's the only one where the president is facing to the right. The other ones are facing to the left, almost as if they're disgusted and don't want to be associated with him ..
"Pssh. How dare he bring his cheap ass even near us. The only thing he's good for is scratching lottery tickets!"
The only reason I even have so much change is because my friend kept telling me to put all my change in a jar and six months from now I'll be surprised as to how much money I have in that jar. Yeah, I'll be lugging that jar to the bank, in a wheelbarrow.
"This is the heaviest 10 bucks ever. I wish someone would rob me."
The only time I ever defend the penny is whenever I see those 1-800-COLLECT commercials that claim "You can't get much for a buck these days"
Really? You ever taken 100 pennies and put them inside a wet tube sock and knocked somebody upside the head with it? You can get their wallet and their car keys .. and THAT'S what you can get for a buck these days.
$350, a Visa card, and a Daewoo.
I'll be christening my new apartment sometime during Black History Month. Come over and bring a cupcake.
Oh and today's my mom's birthday. Thank you for the "knickers" joke.
posted by Paul at 4:34 PM
9 Comments:
A new apartment? Whoa! You're gonna be like that Seinfeld guy. I wanna be the Kraemer guy in your show so I can break sh*t then shout obscenities in an effort to kick start my career after the show is over and I'm a worthless drunk. I'm not indian though. Damn...
Yeah........I'm back.
Whoa!
You can hang at my house if you want. I'm never home.
Hey! I'm back! Whaddayaknow?
time to start blogging again, man.
I agree. Let's see something in a Easter motif.
Still Here!
hey paul, we are doing a fundraiser for the southasian club on may 18 and were wondering if you would consider hosting the event. Email me back apurocks@gmail.com thank you.
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