Cars don't pimp.

So I'm in L.A for a few days trying to be professional and not act stupid. I got a rental car. (drum roll)

White Dodge Neon

My car back home is a black 97 Nissan Maxima. And I realized that no matter what the make, model or color...

I'm unattractive in both

I've seen guys trick out their cars. Hydraulics, speakers, insurance..the works. But I don't belong in a pimpmobile. I don't weave in and out of traffic on the freeway..50 Cent bumpin in the trunk..

I'm using my turn signal..making proper lane changes..Red Hot Chili Peppers playing (at a reasonable volume because I don't wanna blow out my two remaining factory speakers) .

I really belong in sneakers, walking down the shoulder of the freeway. I'm not a cool driver.

Which reminds me of my uncle when he used to take me and my cousins to private school when we were little. He used to bring a coffee mug full of rasam ("russum"), which is like a really spicy Indian broth, to drink in the morning. Once a week while he drove us to school he'd stop to get gas. And every so often (if we were lucky) he'd forget that he left the cup o' rasam on the top of the car while he pumped gas, and he'd drive us to school while the mug tipped over and tomatoes and garlic cloves dribbled down the front windshield. That stuff was so spicy it melted the bird crap on the window.

Good times.