Cobra Commander
I'd join the military if that rank was attainable. Just to have a sidekick named Destro is so worth the mind-numbing, grueling hours of boot camp. Hey if our military personnel can make it on The Price is Right. Why can't Cobra?
"Serpentor! Come on down!"
I apologize. I had a flashback
Drinking doesn't have the same charm to me as it once did. Call it tolerance, call it redundant, call it a lack of money. Whatever it is, I think I might have to find a new ritual after shows. Intoxication isn't fun anymore.
What's fun to me?
-Give me 300 more peak minutes on my cellphone plan so that I don't have to pay 40cents a minute to talk.
-Give me 300 more dollars so I can pay for my cellphone bill because I didn't have 300 extra peak minutes so now I had to make numerous 40cents a minutes calls and now my cellphone bill is outrageous to the tune of 300 extra dollars.
-Give me 300 more cellphones so that between them all, I know at least one will always have a full battery, I'll have enough minutes to talk to everyone, 40 cents a minute will never happen, and in the long run I'll save 300 dollars (possibly more) because peak minutes are no longer priority.
I'm performing in Phoenix this weekend. In a theater in the round. That means the audience is on all sides of me. It's like being jumped in by a gang except these people are sitting down, laughing, and not delinquent. So basically I have to do my best impression of the earth's axis and rotate my body throughout the performance so everyone feels included. I'm just curious as to how many minutes into my set will I begin to feel dizzy.
Dizzy like intoxication like 40cents a minute phone calls like not fun
I think what's great about alcohol is you can never stay mad at it. I say it's not fun TODAY. I don't mean it Captain Cuervo. It just bored me last night. I wasn't in the mood to partake in your beautiful sustenance. I wasn't privy to your wonderous, mind-altering ways. I apologize. I don't mean it. Please don't be mad at me. I take it all back. In fact, do you want me to delete this blog? What? What is that Mr. Liver? No, I didn't forget about you. I know it's calling you. Don't worry Internal Organ Schmorgan, Daddy will make sure you get your share of Jack Daniels tonight. Cus I care
Too bad Cheetos don't get you plastered. You figure they'd have some sort of effect on you..Remember Chester Cheetah? (Head shaking violently "Ay-yi-yi"). He was so fond of Cheetos you'd swear they were laced. Same goes for the bird in the Cocoa Puffs commercials, any kid in the Corn Pops commercials, and Snuggle Bear
Sometimes I write this blog thinking that no one else is really reading it. And then I realize that people are and that they just prefer certain entries more than others. Some of them have comments on them, some of them don't. This one won't.
"Serpentor! Come on down!"
I apologize. I had a flashback
Drinking doesn't have the same charm to me as it once did. Call it tolerance, call it redundant, call it a lack of money. Whatever it is, I think I might have to find a new ritual after shows. Intoxication isn't fun anymore.
What's fun to me?
-Give me 300 more peak minutes on my cellphone plan so that I don't have to pay 40cents a minute to talk.
-Give me 300 more dollars so I can pay for my cellphone bill because I didn't have 300 extra peak minutes so now I had to make numerous 40cents a minutes calls and now my cellphone bill is outrageous to the tune of 300 extra dollars.
-Give me 300 more cellphones so that between them all, I know at least one will always have a full battery, I'll have enough minutes to talk to everyone, 40 cents a minute will never happen, and in the long run I'll save 300 dollars (possibly more) because peak minutes are no longer priority.
I'm performing in Phoenix this weekend. In a theater in the round. That means the audience is on all sides of me. It's like being jumped in by a gang except these people are sitting down, laughing, and not delinquent. So basically I have to do my best impression of the earth's axis and rotate my body throughout the performance so everyone feels included. I'm just curious as to how many minutes into my set will I begin to feel dizzy.
Dizzy like intoxication like 40cents a minute phone calls like not fun
I think what's great about alcohol is you can never stay mad at it. I say it's not fun TODAY. I don't mean it Captain Cuervo. It just bored me last night. I wasn't in the mood to partake in your beautiful sustenance. I wasn't privy to your wonderous, mind-altering ways. I apologize. I don't mean it. Please don't be mad at me. I take it all back. In fact, do you want me to delete this blog? What? What is that Mr. Liver? No, I didn't forget about you. I know it's calling you. Don't worry Internal Organ Schmorgan, Daddy will make sure you get your share of Jack Daniels tonight. Cus I care
Too bad Cheetos don't get you plastered. You figure they'd have some sort of effect on you..Remember Chester Cheetah? (Head shaking violently "Ay-yi-yi"). He was so fond of Cheetos you'd swear they were laced. Same goes for the bird in the Cocoa Puffs commercials, any kid in the Corn Pops commercials, and Snuggle Bear
Sometimes I write this blog thinking that no one else is really reading it. And then I realize that people are and that they just prefer certain entries more than others. Some of them have comments on them, some of them don't. This one won't.
posted by Paul at 12:50 PM
1 Comments:
own wall to lean against....oh shit that is funny.
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