My Money My Problem
So this new apartment complex I'm moving into next weekend just called me to ask for income verification. You know.. check stubs, bank balances. I'm a comic. We gets no check stubs. Bank balance? Ha. But, basically, she needs to know that I'm not running drugs through her fortress.
Me a drug dealer? I'd be so horrible at it. I have no business insight. I once had a door-to-door Strip-O-Gram service that failed because I had all my dancers dress up as serial killers and Jehovah's Witnesses. Plus I can't even do drugs successfully. Just yesterday, I burned my thumb, just messing around with a lighter and there were no drugs involved. I was just playing with fire. I'm 6 in that sense. Keep me away from stoves and unmarked vans
I smoked weed one time back in November 1997, and I didn't even smoke enough to get high. It was around Thanksgiving too. (Which if you're gonna get the munchies, what better holiday to do it on than the one with all that grub at your fingertips)
Thanksgiving's the only holiday that everybody dreads the leftovers. New Year's Eve doesn't have that problem. Nobody ever wakes up on January 1st and stares, disgustingly, into the fridge..
"Whoa. How are we gonna get rid of all this booze? We're gonna be having booze for the next two to three weeks. Booze for breakfast. Booze for lunch. Booze sandwiches. We should've sent some booze home with Grandma. Kids, I'm gonna have to pack some booze in your lunch for tomorrow."
"But Dad, I'm so sick of booze!"
"Shut up and eat your booze casserole!"
I've noticed that the apartment lady has now assumed the role of my mother. She's now just as concerned as to how I make money and how much I make. What's next. She's gonna start calling me every day at 6pm to make sure I had dinner? She's gonna argue with my dad? She's gonna keep asking me when I'm gonna get married?
Hey, maybe the apartment lady will be like my mom and make a mean meatloaf. That'd be dope.
When did "mean" mean delicious? I like that we associate a synonym for evil to describe food that tastes yummy. Reverse the logic
Saddam Hussein? Did you see what he did to those refugees? He is so scrum-diddly-umptious!
Me a drug dealer? I'd be so horrible at it. I have no business insight. I once had a door-to-door Strip-O-Gram service that failed because I had all my dancers dress up as serial killers and Jehovah's Witnesses. Plus I can't even do drugs successfully. Just yesterday, I burned my thumb, just messing around with a lighter and there were no drugs involved. I was just playing with fire. I'm 6 in that sense. Keep me away from stoves and unmarked vans
I smoked weed one time back in November 1997, and I didn't even smoke enough to get high. It was around Thanksgiving too. (Which if you're gonna get the munchies, what better holiday to do it on than the one with all that grub at your fingertips)
Thanksgiving's the only holiday that everybody dreads the leftovers. New Year's Eve doesn't have that problem. Nobody ever wakes up on January 1st and stares, disgustingly, into the fridge..
"Whoa. How are we gonna get rid of all this booze? We're gonna be having booze for the next two to three weeks. Booze for breakfast. Booze for lunch. Booze sandwiches. We should've sent some booze home with Grandma. Kids, I'm gonna have to pack some booze in your lunch for tomorrow."
"But Dad, I'm so sick of booze!"
"Shut up and eat your booze casserole!"
I've noticed that the apartment lady has now assumed the role of my mother. She's now just as concerned as to how I make money and how much I make. What's next. She's gonna start calling me every day at 6pm to make sure I had dinner? She's gonna argue with my dad? She's gonna keep asking me when I'm gonna get married?
Hey, maybe the apartment lady will be like my mom and make a mean meatloaf. That'd be dope.
When did "mean" mean delicious? I like that we associate a synonym for evil to describe food that tastes yummy. Reverse the logic
Saddam Hussein? Did you see what he did to those refugees? He is so scrum-diddly-umptious!
posted by Paul at 1:51 PM
1 Comments:
How did dope get to be a substitute for the word good? How much is your rent? I have a nice rent house that is open right now. Near Northgate and Mac Arthur. I live close by and it would be much easier for me to keep an eye on you. Have you eaten yet?
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