In Memory of VH1's Pop-Up Video
Cue "Flashlight" music
So when we last left Paul.. he was on his way to D.C and then New York. Let's find out what happened
(Bloop) George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic also had a song called "Chocolate City", the nickname for Washington D.C (Bloop)
D.C involved a missed flight (because of oversleptedness), some really bad orange chicken from Manchu Wok, a great crowd and an afterparty that included a shot of Grand Marnier (never ever do that) and me being asked to get off of a sofa.
(Bloop) When Paul gets slightly inebriated, he stands on furniture: tables, chairs, hammocks. Nothing is sacred (Bloop)
I never got to see anything D.C is known for. No presidents, no monuments. If D.C stood for Deranged Crackheads, I saw plenty of those. They were in abundance. Like body odor at the DMV. The whole weekend was put together by the guys over at www.desivision.tv. They're just starting out and could use the support a.k.a viewership. They taped the show and will be showing a few clips in months to come.
(Bloop) Another internet tv show came out to film a show Paul did down in Texas, www.asianlivetv.com, and that footage will come out in a few months (Bloop)
So we truck it (actually Honda Civic) it out to New York the next day. It's at this moment that I fall asleep in the car. I'm an ugly sleeper. The kind of sleeper where people take pictures and point and giggle and tell anyone within earshot of my putrid display of nighty-night time. I don't really have the mouth open thing as much, moreso than the eye open thing going on. I know. Creepy. In this case, the eyes were half open, pupils rolled up, so all you see is the whites of my eyes, ala Method Man in Bring the Pain, or any zombie movie ever made. I have no control over that. I don't choose it. According to the internet, it can be caused by intoxication or heredity or scarring of the eyelid. Intoxication might be it. It ain't heredity. But I do have scarring on my eyelid.
(Bloop) Paul had surgery to fix his eyelid when he was 6. When he awoke from it, he cried like a little bitch (Bloop)
When I was in college, I found out how to doze off while listening to a Physics 1080 lecture by staring at the chalkboard. I've had some of my best naps when in lecture halls. In fact I want to be so rich one day that I can afford a tenured professor to stand at the foot of my bed every night and explain to me inertia and Schroedinger's equation.
I tried to defend myself to the fellow car passengers
(Bloop) They vowed amongst themselves that the next time it happened, they'd Kodak the moment (Bloop)
I told them it was my way of keeping my eyes on them while still catching some well-deserved sleepy time. They weren't buying it. I even referenced Metallica's "Enter Sandman". Still didn't buy it. I hung my head in shame..and to sleep again without them giggling at me.
Cue "Funkytown"
I make it to New York successfully, meaning no photographic evidence of my sleep habits.
(Bloop) The song "Funkytown" was written about New York City. It was also featured in Shrek 2 (Bloop)
I get to hang with folks I haven't seen in awhile, including my friend Tara. I met her at my friend's wedding a few months ago.. and since I'm throwing so many links into this blog I might as well plug his site as well, www.anilv.com
(Bloop) If you scroll through his archives, you'll find a link of Paul's performance on Last Comic Standing, doing the Boogeyman joke. Check out the french blue sweater (Bloop)
So Tara and I have a weird connection. She was also on reality tv and maybe I shouldn't mention it, but she never said I couldn't, so Bloop away
As you wish Paul..
(Bloop) If you keep scouring through www.anilv.com you'll also see previously mentioned Tara on MTV's Boiling Points (Bloop)
Back to you Paul
Thank you Bloop Boy. So New York was great. Crowds were incredible and laughs were had. Final count: Two satisfied audiences, One drag queen dj, two men making out, two Ketel One's and 7, and some chicken and rice, courtesy of an NYC street vendor
Time to go watch The Aristocrats. A movie that only comics would enjoy. For another one of those kinds of movies, rent Comedian with Jerry Seinfeld
(Bloop) It'll show you the background of what a comedian is all about. I like this movie alot. Wait, as Bloop Boy, I'm just supposed to lay down facts, not opinions. Gotta go (Bloop)
So when we last left Paul.. he was on his way to D.C and then New York. Let's find out what happened
(Bloop) George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic also had a song called "Chocolate City", the nickname for Washington D.C (Bloop)
D.C involved a missed flight (because of oversleptedness), some really bad orange chicken from Manchu Wok, a great crowd and an afterparty that included a shot of Grand Marnier (never ever do that) and me being asked to get off of a sofa.
(Bloop) When Paul gets slightly inebriated, he stands on furniture: tables, chairs, hammocks. Nothing is sacred (Bloop)
I never got to see anything D.C is known for. No presidents, no monuments. If D.C stood for Deranged Crackheads, I saw plenty of those. They were in abundance. Like body odor at the DMV. The whole weekend was put together by the guys over at www.desivision.tv. They're just starting out and could use the support a.k.a viewership. They taped the show and will be showing a few clips in months to come.
(Bloop) Another internet tv show came out to film a show Paul did down in Texas, www.asianlivetv.com, and that footage will come out in a few months (Bloop)
So we truck it (actually Honda Civic) it out to New York the next day. It's at this moment that I fall asleep in the car. I'm an ugly sleeper. The kind of sleeper where people take pictures and point and giggle and tell anyone within earshot of my putrid display of nighty-night time. I don't really have the mouth open thing as much, moreso than the eye open thing going on. I know. Creepy. In this case, the eyes were half open, pupils rolled up, so all you see is the whites of my eyes, ala Method Man in Bring the Pain, or any zombie movie ever made. I have no control over that. I don't choose it. According to the internet, it can be caused by intoxication or heredity or scarring of the eyelid. Intoxication might be it. It ain't heredity. But I do have scarring on my eyelid.
(Bloop) Paul had surgery to fix his eyelid when he was 6. When he awoke from it, he cried like a little bitch (Bloop)
When I was in college, I found out how to doze off while listening to a Physics 1080 lecture by staring at the chalkboard. I've had some of my best naps when in lecture halls. In fact I want to be so rich one day that I can afford a tenured professor to stand at the foot of my bed every night and explain to me inertia and Schroedinger's equation.
I tried to defend myself to the fellow car passengers
(Bloop) They vowed amongst themselves that the next time it happened, they'd Kodak the moment (Bloop)
I told them it was my way of keeping my eyes on them while still catching some well-deserved sleepy time. They weren't buying it. I even referenced Metallica's "Enter Sandman". Still didn't buy it. I hung my head in shame..and to sleep again without them giggling at me.
Cue "Funkytown"
I make it to New York successfully, meaning no photographic evidence of my sleep habits.
(Bloop) The song "Funkytown" was written about New York City. It was also featured in Shrek 2 (Bloop)
I get to hang with folks I haven't seen in awhile, including my friend Tara. I met her at my friend's wedding a few months ago.. and since I'm throwing so many links into this blog I might as well plug his site as well, www.anilv.com
(Bloop) If you scroll through his archives, you'll find a link of Paul's performance on Last Comic Standing, doing the Boogeyman joke. Check out the french blue sweater (Bloop)
So Tara and I have a weird connection. She was also on reality tv and maybe I shouldn't mention it, but she never said I couldn't, so Bloop away
As you wish Paul..
(Bloop) If you keep scouring through www.anilv.com you'll also see previously mentioned Tara on MTV's Boiling Points (Bloop)
Back to you Paul
Thank you Bloop Boy. So New York was great. Crowds were incredible and laughs were had. Final count: Two satisfied audiences, One drag queen dj, two men making out, two Ketel One's and 7, and some chicken and rice, courtesy of an NYC street vendor
Time to go watch The Aristocrats. A movie that only comics would enjoy. For another one of those kinds of movies, rent Comedian with Jerry Seinfeld
(Bloop) It'll show you the background of what a comedian is all about. I like this movie alot. Wait, as Bloop Boy, I'm just supposed to lay down facts, not opinions. Gotta go (Bloop)
posted by Paul at 5:53 PM
1 Comments:
YOU MENTIONED ME, YOU MENTIONED ME, YOU MENTIONED ME!!!!!!! YOU MENTIONED ME YOU M ENTIONED MEYOUMENTIOINEDMEYOUMENTIONDMEEEEEE!
Paul. F*cking amazing show this weekend. I can't stop talking about it. Really. I. cant. stop. My friends loved it too. You're hilarious. Next time you want to test out material, please, call me. Chances are, I'll need the laugh.
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