Let me 'Splain Something...

So I'm stuck in North Carolina right now. Time to reflect..

Wednesday was the official start of a tour that I've been fortunate enough to be asked to headline

www.gurusofcomedy.com

We started off in NYC on Wednesday and over 4 weeks will hit up different regions of the U.S. There's a performance schedule available on that website. Fun times so far. Great crowds. Great responses. The neatest thing for me is that sometimes folks will blog a review about the show. It's always intriguing to hear an outsider's response or views on the show. So here's what one audience member thought about my part of the show

[ Paul Varghese was the headliner. Very southern and very laid back he had good delivery and of course he was the crowd favorite from being on Last Comic Standing. He definitely got the Malyalee crowd riled up becaues they could relate. Some of the stuff went over my head. I can only imagine the white crowd. ]
www.janeofalltrades.verveblogs.com

None of it really strikes me as critical. She mentioned later on in her blog that she wished the show had more "universal" material .. meaning mainstream stuff .. which is a good chunk of my act .. but when you have a room of mostly Indian folks, you play to the crowd. As much as I'd like to think a South Asian crowd would truly enjoy a good Superman joke, the odds are better if I just spit out a joke about traffic jams in India. Dave Chappelle had a great quote when he was being interviewed by Oprah.

"About 20 percent of my fans really get what I'm doing. The other 80 percent just like saying "I'm Rick James, bitch!"

He goes on about being socially responsible with his racial material and those thoughts hit a chord with me. I've always felt that the majority of folks who see my act might enjoy it (or not) but there's a small chunk who really get what I do. Just because I may talk about being Indian and my experiences with it, it's all stories and views that are completely unique to me. I'm not conveying stereotypes..

(steps off soapbox)

Hmmm...

(steps back on soapbox)

She's Indian and some of the references went over her head? I'm one of the most Americanized Indians you will ever meet...

1) I never got a scholarship
2) A white guy built my website

So if my references went over her head.. I think her Indian card should be revoked immediately. When Paul Varghese gets out-whited by another Indian .. well then my bloggees, it's the end of the world (as we know it). Apocalypse right here right Now. Brace for the 7 plagues

Why 7? Because they're each named after the Brady kids.

Bobby = Locusts
Jan = Hailstorm
Cousin Oliver = Rising Gas Prices

The references confused her and so she couldn't even imagine how the white people must've felt. Why do we even care how 10 white folks, amongst an audience of 200 Indian folks, felt? You don't see people concerned with what Indian people feel about what Chris Rock says. Besides, the white people knew what they were coming into. And trust me, they'll be able to figure out through context what I'm trying to say. .It's SAT-ish, but they'll be fine. I mean, my dad moved here in 1970 and his favorite show was Hee-Haw. An immigrant who barely spoke English, watching a sketch comedy show about hillbillies? Comedy's universal, regardless of ethnic origin or content. Funny's funny

She also mentioned that I am "very laidback and very Southern". Southern? Do I have a twang? I wasn't wearing overalls. What is a "Southern" Indian exactly?

1. He raises cows, not for meat purposes, but to save them from slaughter
2. He charms snakes out of baskets, only to skin them and wear them as boots
3. He lights incense to eliminate the crystal meth smell
4. He makes Barbecue Chicken Curry
5. He has a job working for Coors Light Tech Support

Wild Life

So I visited the Fort Worth Zoo yesterday. Eye-opening experience really.

1. There's no huge walls or barricades to prevent the elephants and rhinos from stampeding. No zoo snipers perched in the treetops to nullify their charge. So I made sure I didn't stare at them a little too long or say anything condescending within earshot. One of the elephants spent 5 minutes snouting the other's ass and I said nothing. I saw a toddler laughing and I immediately pointed him out to the snouter and snoutee. I ain't about to be powderized for a giggle.

2. I saw a girl wearing camoflauge pants. Smart move. Just in case, some cheetahs break loose, you want to blend in. While me in my turqoise/sienna striped Gap shirt gets eaten alive because I look like a piece of Fruit Stripes chewing gum. I might as well wear sirloin-laced Underroos.

3. The more I see how miserable these hippos and orangutans are in their cage, the more it looks like they're in cubicle space. No lunch break. No insurance. No vacation time. On the plus side, they get to walk around naked all the time. It's like Casual Friday every day.

4. I went to a zoo in India and saw a monkey sitting in a cage. But it's India! There were monkeys running around the street as we walked in. There were even some perched on the wall of the zoo, running around and playing and occasionally looking at the one in the cage. And he looked miserable. It was like seeing someone stuck in a horrible marriage, watching single people frolic and mingle and have fun all around him.

So what have we learned today? Well, the disgruntled cubicle employee, who comes in one morning and guns down all of his co-workers, is the equivalent of the zoo animal who attacks the groundskeeper. With no room for career advancement, elephants can only take so much. It's not like they can post their resume on Monster.com

EXPERIENCE:
5/1942 - 8/1972 ..... Bombay, India .... Rajesh's House
Wedding Party Transport
Cud Chewer
Lumberjack

9/1972 - Present .... Fort Worth, Texas .... Fort Worth Zoo
Gawkee

EDUCATION:
8/1937 - 4/1942 .... Mahoot Training .... UI (New Delhi)

SKILLS:
Hauling, Memory, Taking a whooping from an undersized Indian man

Come to think of it.. my grandma has those exact same job skills.