Wild Life
So I visited the Fort Worth Zoo yesterday. Eye-opening experience really.
1. There's no huge walls or barricades to prevent the elephants and rhinos from stampeding. No zoo snipers perched in the treetops to nullify their charge. So I made sure I didn't stare at them a little too long or say anything condescending within earshot. One of the elephants spent 5 minutes snouting the other's ass and I said nothing. I saw a toddler laughing and I immediately pointed him out to the snouter and snoutee. I ain't about to be powderized for a giggle.
2. I saw a girl wearing camoflauge pants. Smart move. Just in case, some cheetahs break loose, you want to blend in. While me in my turqoise/sienna striped Gap shirt gets eaten alive because I look like a piece of Fruit Stripes chewing gum. I might as well wear sirloin-laced Underroos.
3. The more I see how miserable these hippos and orangutans are in their cage, the more it looks like they're in cubicle space. No lunch break. No insurance. No vacation time. On the plus side, they get to walk around naked all the time. It's like Casual Friday every day.
4. I went to a zoo in India and saw a monkey sitting in a cage. But it's India! There were monkeys running around the street as we walked in. There were even some perched on the wall of the zoo, running around and playing and occasionally looking at the one in the cage. And he looked miserable. It was like seeing someone stuck in a horrible marriage, watching single people frolic and mingle and have fun all around him.
So what have we learned today? Well, the disgruntled cubicle employee, who comes in one morning and guns down all of his co-workers, is the equivalent of the zoo animal who attacks the groundskeeper. With no room for career advancement, elephants can only take so much. It's not like they can post their resume on Monster.com
EXPERIENCE:
5/1942 - 8/1972 ..... Bombay, India .... Rajesh's House
Wedding Party Transport
Cud Chewer
Lumberjack
9/1972 - Present .... Fort Worth, Texas .... Fort Worth Zoo
Gawkee
EDUCATION:
8/1937 - 4/1942 .... Mahoot Training .... UI (New Delhi)
SKILLS:
Hauling, Memory, Taking a whooping from an undersized Indian man
Come to think of it.. my grandma has those exact same job skills.
1. There's no huge walls or barricades to prevent the elephants and rhinos from stampeding. No zoo snipers perched in the treetops to nullify their charge. So I made sure I didn't stare at them a little too long or say anything condescending within earshot. One of the elephants spent 5 minutes snouting the other's ass and I said nothing. I saw a toddler laughing and I immediately pointed him out to the snouter and snoutee. I ain't about to be powderized for a giggle.
2. I saw a girl wearing camoflauge pants. Smart move. Just in case, some cheetahs break loose, you want to blend in. While me in my turqoise/sienna striped Gap shirt gets eaten alive because I look like a piece of Fruit Stripes chewing gum. I might as well wear sirloin-laced Underroos.
3. The more I see how miserable these hippos and orangutans are in their cage, the more it looks like they're in cubicle space. No lunch break. No insurance. No vacation time. On the plus side, they get to walk around naked all the time. It's like Casual Friday every day.
4. I went to a zoo in India and saw a monkey sitting in a cage. But it's India! There were monkeys running around the street as we walked in. There were even some perched on the wall of the zoo, running around and playing and occasionally looking at the one in the cage. And he looked miserable. It was like seeing someone stuck in a horrible marriage, watching single people frolic and mingle and have fun all around him.
So what have we learned today? Well, the disgruntled cubicle employee, who comes in one morning and guns down all of his co-workers, is the equivalent of the zoo animal who attacks the groundskeeper. With no room for career advancement, elephants can only take so much. It's not like they can post their resume on Monster.com
EXPERIENCE:
5/1942 - 8/1972 ..... Bombay, India .... Rajesh's House
Wedding Party Transport
Cud Chewer
Lumberjack
9/1972 - Present .... Fort Worth, Texas .... Fort Worth Zoo
Gawkee
EDUCATION:
8/1937 - 4/1942 .... Mahoot Training .... UI (New Delhi)
SKILLS:
Hauling, Memory, Taking a whooping from an undersized Indian man
Come to think of it.. my grandma has those exact same job skills.
posted by Paul at 11:28 AM
6 Comments:
Zoo casual friday is funny!
ha ha.
I read it twice. The zoo thing.....That's a keeper. casual Fiday! Those Crazy Russians.
Casual Friday. That always gets me.
Damn....
All good until you made fun of amachi .. now you really are going to hell :)
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