Cue the Violins
I'm a romantic at heart. Like just today I was looking out my window into the backyard, hoping that the girl of my dreams, my future wife would walk right by
.. and then i thought
That would be trespassing and I'd have to shoot her.
Because even little kids know that if their football sails into the neighbor's yard, it's time to start playing checkers.
I think romance died once every guy got the memo about sending flowers, boxes of chocolates, proposals on the top floor of any building. It forced every guy who sincerely gave a damn about his girl to think about what he could do to be original and top the last guy. That's why you have fools proposing on TV, or by skywriting, or outside their girlfriend's bathroom after an EPT test.
I for one ain't giving flowers or chocolate. They expect that guys. Give them wind chimes. Yes, wind chimes. The gift that keeps on giving. Not only is it good for feng-shui, but if you two ever break up, those damn things will keep ringing and ringing and ringing for the rest of her damn life.
"Oh you thought I was annoying because I always forgot to close the Sprite all the way? Compare that to Mr. I've Got a Song to Sing All Day Long that's hanging right outside your window"
Listen guys, don't go all out to be romantic. Learn from others' mistakes. Cus I feel sorry for the guy who gets rejected after the fancy, over-the-top wedding proposal.
"How could you say that? I pledged my love to you on the Eiffel Tower"
Because the next time he proposes, it won't be anywhere near that romantic
"Listen, I lied. I didn't bring you to IHOP for breakfast. Look down and read the whip cream writing on your chocolate chip pancakes. Yes or No?"
.. and then i thought
That would be trespassing and I'd have to shoot her.
Because even little kids know that if their football sails into the neighbor's yard, it's time to start playing checkers.
I think romance died once every guy got the memo about sending flowers, boxes of chocolates, proposals on the top floor of any building. It forced every guy who sincerely gave a damn about his girl to think about what he could do to be original and top the last guy. That's why you have fools proposing on TV, or by skywriting, or outside their girlfriend's bathroom after an EPT test.
I for one ain't giving flowers or chocolate. They expect that guys. Give them wind chimes. Yes, wind chimes. The gift that keeps on giving. Not only is it good for feng-shui, but if you two ever break up, those damn things will keep ringing and ringing and ringing for the rest of her damn life.
"Oh you thought I was annoying because I always forgot to close the Sprite all the way? Compare that to Mr. I've Got a Song to Sing All Day Long that's hanging right outside your window"
Listen guys, don't go all out to be romantic. Learn from others' mistakes. Cus I feel sorry for the guy who gets rejected after the fancy, over-the-top wedding proposal.
"How could you say that? I pledged my love to you on the Eiffel Tower"
Because the next time he proposes, it won't be anywhere near that romantic
"Listen, I lied. I didn't bring you to IHOP for breakfast. Look down and read the whip cream writing on your chocolate chip pancakes. Yes or No?"
posted by Paul at 2:02 PM
2 Comments:
Hey! I recognize this. I saw Paul trying this out at the BackDoor last night. I enjoyed the wind chime joke and the part about guys downward spiral of professing love. Yes this is my high point in life. Sad huh? I think Paul has an idea who I am and slinks by thinking please don't talk to me Pshyco Boy. I am not interested in stalking Paul but you had better believe that the next hot chick with large hooters I talk to in line at Krogers will hear me say "Yeah I played last Thursday after Paul Varghese." Then she will hopefully sleep with me. Thanks Paul!
Also for the record... I still like flowers.
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