Point of Authority

The next couple of weeks are the busiest travel-wise since I started doing stand-up 4 years ago. It's the Bahamas for the weekend, then off to Illinois next Thursday and L.A that Saturday. All are in front of completely different crowds, demographic-wise. The trickiest thing with stand-up is learning how to adjust your act according to the audience. The audience is the boss and it's your job as a comedian to make sure the boss is happy.

The boss decides what's funny. It's up to you to appease the boss yet maintain your artistic integrity at the same time. Sometimes the boss just stares at you. You wanna kick him. But you can't because he's the reason you're getting paid. Sometimes the boss is eating and you still have to compete for his attention. Never works. When the boss is eating, the boss is focused on eating. I could be naked riding a pogo stick on ice and he wouldn't even lift his head. Bosses come in different ages, races, religions. Especially Indian bosses. If you talk about Hinduism to a Muslim boss, they don't wanna hear it and vice versa. Christian bosses don't like hearing about any kind of religion at all.

The best time to schmooze to your boss? When he's drunk. That's when the boss is generous, having a great time. Sometimes you can call the boss whatever you want because he's so wasted he doesn't realize what you're saying. Different comedians have different bosses. The key is to one day have your very own boss. That loves what you do every time out. He loves you even when you blog. I want a boss. My very own boss. To love me to hold me to pat me on the head.

But I need a promotion first.