80/20 on the Funny
Why is there even a debate on Creationism vs. Evolution? Who cares how we got here? Why debate that? Look, I love Big Macs. That secret sauce. Incredible. But if you told me the recipe, I'd for sure be disappointed. We're never gonna know how everything in life got here so let's just give up the argument. I mean what if we finally did find out that God created the world by cheating off the Asian god sitting in the desk next to him. Buddha concocted all this:
Sushi
Coleco Vision (what was he thinking?)
Every show on VH1 (again, what was he thinking?)
Marriage (again, what was ..)
I read somewhere that the government can actually monitor your Internet habits. Creepy huh? So now whenever I Google I feel the need to clarify my purpose.
GOOGLE SEARCH BAR [Counterfeit money .. but I swear it's not for me, it's for a joke that I'm writing because I would never think about performing such illegal activities because I've got a career to worry about, plus why make fake money when I'm aware of the legal repercussions because my friends don't have any money and they'd probably have to make fake money just to get me out and that would be self-defeating so don't jump the gun and pile everyone in the FBI truck just yet because I'm so law-abiding that I feel guilty playing with Monopoly money]
I'm flying out to Denver tomorrow. Sometimes I luck out and fly on Frontier Airlines to get there. Coolest airline because every passenger gets their own personal TV set.
.. On a side note, why do we capitalize TV when talking about television sets, but not when we're talking about transvestites. If I was sporting panties and high heels, I'd feel a bit slighted that they get capitalization privileges when they provide mediocre entertainment, while me in my lemon chiffon gown am always FABULOUS
So for 5 bucks you can watch whatever you want on these sets. Alot of channels too: ESPN, CNN, Food Network.
Food Network? Really? Isn't that such a cruel culinary tease? You're watching them make bourbon mashed sweet potatoes and you're stuck with your 50 cent TV dinner
.. On another side note, if a transvestite cooks you an evening meal, isn't it always gonna be a tv dinner?
If Frontier Airlines really cared about their passengers, they'd show episodes of Fear Factor. That way when I see those contestants trying to chow down on kangaroo colon .. a bag of pretzels doesn't seem that bad
See you all on Monday.
Sushi
Coleco Vision (what was he thinking?)
Every show on VH1 (again, what was he thinking?)
Marriage (again, what was ..)
I read somewhere that the government can actually monitor your Internet habits. Creepy huh? So now whenever I Google I feel the need to clarify my purpose.
GOOGLE SEARCH BAR [Counterfeit money .. but I swear it's not for me, it's for a joke that I'm writing because I would never think about performing such illegal activities because I've got a career to worry about, plus why make fake money when I'm aware of the legal repercussions because my friends don't have any money and they'd probably have to make fake money just to get me out and that would be self-defeating so don't jump the gun and pile everyone in the FBI truck just yet because I'm so law-abiding that I feel guilty playing with Monopoly money]
I'm flying out to Denver tomorrow. Sometimes I luck out and fly on Frontier Airlines to get there. Coolest airline because every passenger gets their own personal TV set.
.. On a side note, why do we capitalize TV when talking about television sets, but not when we're talking about transvestites. If I was sporting panties and high heels, I'd feel a bit slighted that they get capitalization privileges when they provide mediocre entertainment, while me in my lemon chiffon gown am always FABULOUS
So for 5 bucks you can watch whatever you want on these sets. Alot of channels too: ESPN, CNN, Food Network.
Food Network? Really? Isn't that such a cruel culinary tease? You're watching them make bourbon mashed sweet potatoes and you're stuck with your 50 cent TV dinner
.. On another side note, if a transvestite cooks you an evening meal, isn't it always gonna be a tv dinner?
If Frontier Airlines really cared about their passengers, they'd show episodes of Fear Factor. That way when I see those contestants trying to chow down on kangaroo colon .. a bag of pretzels doesn't seem that bad
See you all on Monday.
posted by Paul at 9:52 AM
8 Comments:
Those crazy Russians, What are they thinking? Sorry, That's all I had.
Damn! Check me out Paul! I am still your biggest fan. Well, me and the SPAM guys! Those crazy Russians. They don't even know what day it is! SPAM ya later!
Check it out! Thanksgiving day and I'm still your biggest fan! Those are tears of joy! Aren't they?
I'm still here buddy! How much is three plus five?
Oh Yeah! I'm still here!
Dude! Check me out! How many days is this?!
Tom, you have now past the creepy stalker stage. Congratulations! Expect authorities at your doorstep any moment.
Thanks Dude! I rock!
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