Deuces Gone Wild
So I hope everyone's still hungover and happy (from the New Year). The two don't normally go hand in hand except on rare occasions like while watching Titanic, or anytime you have to listen to a story from Grandpa. I have many resolutions for the New Years (2 of which involve some form of rehab) but one, in particular, I will share with you.
I have re-committed to blogging on a regular basis. I've become so slack in updating this and in doing so, have performed a terrible disservice.
How so Paul?
Well, I'm glad you asked, Mr. Question that I Posed to Myself in Text Form
Look what happens when I leave my blog unattended for more than 2 weeks. I get 7 comments in a row from the same guy. While I applaud his interest in my blog, his comments' lack of humor or any form of insightful drivel deserve nary a handclap at all. It's like this blog is my home and I let all of my kids (you readers out there) in charge of watching it while daddy goes to work. All of you behave and feed yourself and don't act up at all. But one of you, upset at the lack of attention being paid to you, pees on the carpet and hides the Playstation. Shame on you. One bad apple spoiled the bunch so that's the last time I leave you all at home by yourself. Until you can prove me otherwise.
The second reason I've re-committed myself is because I was approached by a random guy at a gig in San Antonio who told me that he kills his time at work reading my blog. Now who am I to deny that man the right to slack off at his job? All this time I've been gone he's had to turn to Solitaire or building paper clip fortresses. I can't let those endless games of trashcan football continue. I must blog again. If not for you kids out there.. but for all of the disgruntled, apathetic cubicle-ites out there
On this day 29 years ago, my mother was having contractions. My father was still flipping through the book of names trying to find something that would go with Varghese. My sister was bugging both of them, desperate to name the kid herself. And thank god, my parents were still in charge, because Ernie Varghese would just cement me into a life of eternal wedgies and Friday night discussions with my two friends about why Harry Potter could beat Gandalf in a head-to-head duel
Whenever you're bored, ask your father what he planned on naming you, had you been born the opposite gender. It'll make you want to castrate him with an ice cream scoop, so that he never has that power again.
My name would've been Bessie. Yes. As in "moo moo". I don't know if my dad had plans to move us all into an Amish community or have me sent into a slaughterhouse and processed into burger form. But Bessie Varghese? I can hear the potential dates line up now. Actually I wish I had that name now because then I could pawn off my awkwardness on the fact that I was destined to be this peculiar, with a name like that
So let's all raise our mouses to..
1) More blogs in 2006
2) Slacking off at work
3) And a swift kick to the pants to all fathers out there
Cheers.
I have re-committed to blogging on a regular basis. I've become so slack in updating this and in doing so, have performed a terrible disservice.
How so Paul?
Well, I'm glad you asked, Mr. Question that I Posed to Myself in Text Form
Look what happens when I leave my blog unattended for more than 2 weeks. I get 7 comments in a row from the same guy. While I applaud his interest in my blog, his comments' lack of humor or any form of insightful drivel deserve nary a handclap at all. It's like this blog is my home and I let all of my kids (you readers out there) in charge of watching it while daddy goes to work. All of you behave and feed yourself and don't act up at all. But one of you, upset at the lack of attention being paid to you, pees on the carpet and hides the Playstation. Shame on you. One bad apple spoiled the bunch so that's the last time I leave you all at home by yourself. Until you can prove me otherwise.
The second reason I've re-committed myself is because I was approached by a random guy at a gig in San Antonio who told me that he kills his time at work reading my blog. Now who am I to deny that man the right to slack off at his job? All this time I've been gone he's had to turn to Solitaire or building paper clip fortresses. I can't let those endless games of trashcan football continue. I must blog again. If not for you kids out there.. but for all of the disgruntled, apathetic cubicle-ites out there
On this day 29 years ago, my mother was having contractions. My father was still flipping through the book of names trying to find something that would go with Varghese. My sister was bugging both of them, desperate to name the kid herself. And thank god, my parents were still in charge, because Ernie Varghese would just cement me into a life of eternal wedgies and Friday night discussions with my two friends about why Harry Potter could beat Gandalf in a head-to-head duel
Whenever you're bored, ask your father what he planned on naming you, had you been born the opposite gender. It'll make you want to castrate him with an ice cream scoop, so that he never has that power again.
My name would've been Bessie. Yes. As in "moo moo". I don't know if my dad had plans to move us all into an Amish community or have me sent into a slaughterhouse and processed into burger form. But Bessie Varghese? I can hear the potential dates line up now. Actually I wish I had that name now because then I could pawn off my awkwardness on the fact that I was destined to be this peculiar, with a name like that
So let's all raise our mouses to..
1) More blogs in 2006
2) Slacking off at work
3) And a swift kick to the pants to all fathers out there
Cheers.
posted by Paul at 5:27 PM
1 Comments:
well thnks for posting more often. i read this during chem class in school. w/o it, I on the other hand resorted to paying attention. i still failed my last test. and happy birthday.
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