Here's My Story, Morning Glory
No surprise. I love cereal. Not the fiber-filled crap. I'm 28 not 88.
Sugary sustenance. The sugarier the better. Crunchberries without the yicky Cap'n'Crunch pieces? Well it's about damn time. Why can't Lucky Charms follow suit?
And when Veteran's Day approaches, remember not only your loved ones and those around us who have died for this country, but also remember those lesser known military figures whose work has gone unnoticed.
General Mills. He fought for truth, justice, and the right to cavity-creating cereals. Count Chocula - Frankenberry - Booberry? The only person with the foresight to soften up the image of monsters by making them marshmallowy. Whoever chose to hold the freedom of America back by denying us Cinnamon Toast Crunch...may they perish in the eternal flames of Hell or someplace almost as hott. Me and the kids of America salute you.
I adore Cookie Crisp. How bold were they?
"If you like cookies you'll love Cookie Crisp"
They didn't say
"If you like cookies, you'll enjoy the similar taste of Cookie Crisp"
No, they upgraded your emotion. No other breakfast cereal made that assertion.
"If you like fruit, you'll love Froot Loops"
No you won't. Because if you like fruit, you'd puke up a Froot Loop because there is no fruit involved and Froot Loops knows that because they don't even spell fruit correctly
"If you like rice, you'll hate Rice Krispies because they share none of the same qualities. You can't eat them with chopsticks, they taste horrible with jambalaya, and Uncle Ben doesn't endorse them"
The same goes for Corn Pops, HoneyComb, and Apple Jacks
I feel sorry for the disappointed pimp who fell for the commercial
"If you like tricks, you'll love Trix"
Silly Bitch-Slapping Rabbit! These Trix are for kids!
Sugary sustenance. The sugarier the better. Crunchberries without the yicky Cap'n'Crunch pieces? Well it's about damn time. Why can't Lucky Charms follow suit?
And when Veteran's Day approaches, remember not only your loved ones and those around us who have died for this country, but also remember those lesser known military figures whose work has gone unnoticed.
General Mills. He fought for truth, justice, and the right to cavity-creating cereals. Count Chocula - Frankenberry - Booberry? The only person with the foresight to soften up the image of monsters by making them marshmallowy. Whoever chose to hold the freedom of America back by denying us Cinnamon Toast Crunch...may they perish in the eternal flames of Hell or someplace almost as hott. Me and the kids of America salute you.
I adore Cookie Crisp. How bold were they?
"If you like cookies you'll love Cookie Crisp"
They didn't say
"If you like cookies, you'll enjoy the similar taste of Cookie Crisp"
No, they upgraded your emotion. No other breakfast cereal made that assertion.
"If you like fruit, you'll love Froot Loops"
No you won't. Because if you like fruit, you'd puke up a Froot Loop because there is no fruit involved and Froot Loops knows that because they don't even spell fruit correctly
"If you like rice, you'll hate Rice Krispies because they share none of the same qualities. You can't eat them with chopsticks, they taste horrible with jambalaya, and Uncle Ben doesn't endorse them"
The same goes for Corn Pops, HoneyComb, and Apple Jacks
I feel sorry for the disappointed pimp who fell for the commercial
"If you like tricks, you'll love Trix"
Silly Bitch-Slapping Rabbit! These Trix are for kids!
posted by Paul at 1:04 PM
1 Comments:
I worked with an old man once that we nick named "Corn Pops". He had some growth on his face under his eye. Oddly enough it was gone one day and we asked him what happened. He said it just popped while he was shaving and a bunch of stuff oozed out. Mmmm. I'm hungry.
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