My Saturday
I'm heading to L.A this weekend to perform stand-up comedy at a wedding reception. Yeah yeah what's the big deal? Click on this
That's where I'm staying. Never knew that what my parents considered "a waste of college tuition" would wind me up in a 5-star hotel.
It's probably one of those hotels where they give you a bathrobe. I've never needed a robe. That whole transition from naked to fully-clothed never needed a step in-between for me. It's very Mr. Rogers if you think about it. Remember how he'd take his shoes off and then put on house shoes only to take the house shoes back off and switch back to the other shoes when he left? Ever heard of being barefoot Fred? I bet that's why Mr. Rogers never visited any of his Asian friends. (Shoes aren't allowed indoors)
How come Mr. Rogers' house never had a bathroom? No wonder he was always leaving at the end of every show. He had to run to the Exxon station down the street to take a whizz.
There was no bedroom either. No place where the ' magic happened '. His house would be the most boring edition of MTV Cribs. No wonder he invented the Land of Make-Believe. I'd think platypuses and royal families co-existed if I hadn't had any sleep for the last 2 weeks. Buy that man a futon and maybe he wouldn't have hallucinations about whistling trolleys.
Recently a comedian did a joke off my blog. That's a complete prick-like thing to do. I shouldn't have to send out the blog police on you, but do keep in mind that these are all copyrighted ideas. Just because you can read and memorize doesn't mean you thought of it. Use those skills to stand on a street corner with a megaphone and shout out Old Testament scripture
I hope that when I get to heaven, I won't end up rooming with televangelists. They're convinced they're gonna end up there and so am I. What if we both were right? I can barely stand them on tv and now that we're up in heaven, we gotta share bunk beds? What's so heavenly about that?
"Hey Benny Hinn! Could you pray to God to help you quit snoring? Sheesh, talk about making a ' joyful noise '. I'm out of here. I'm moving in with Santa!"
That's where I'm staying. Never knew that what my parents considered "a waste of college tuition" would wind me up in a 5-star hotel.
It's probably one of those hotels where they give you a bathrobe. I've never needed a robe. That whole transition from naked to fully-clothed never needed a step in-between for me. It's very Mr. Rogers if you think about it. Remember how he'd take his shoes off and then put on house shoes only to take the house shoes back off and switch back to the other shoes when he left? Ever heard of being barefoot Fred? I bet that's why Mr. Rogers never visited any of his Asian friends. (Shoes aren't allowed indoors)
How come Mr. Rogers' house never had a bathroom? No wonder he was always leaving at the end of every show. He had to run to the Exxon station down the street to take a whizz.
There was no bedroom either. No place where the ' magic happened '. His house would be the most boring edition of MTV Cribs. No wonder he invented the Land of Make-Believe. I'd think platypuses and royal families co-existed if I hadn't had any sleep for the last 2 weeks. Buy that man a futon and maybe he wouldn't have hallucinations about whistling trolleys.
Recently a comedian did a joke off my blog. That's a complete prick-like thing to do. I shouldn't have to send out the blog police on you, but do keep in mind that these are all copyrighted ideas. Just because you can read and memorize doesn't mean you thought of it. Use those skills to stand on a street corner with a megaphone and shout out Old Testament scripture
I hope that when I get to heaven, I won't end up rooming with televangelists. They're convinced they're gonna end up there and so am I. What if we both were right? I can barely stand them on tv and now that we're up in heaven, we gotta share bunk beds? What's so heavenly about that?
"Hey Benny Hinn! Could you pray to God to help you quit snoring? Sheesh, talk about making a ' joyful noise '. I'm out of here. I'm moving in with Santa!"
posted by Paul at 6:07 PM
9 Comments:
Wow! Nice hotel. Print up a picture of it and wave it around when hot chicks are around. maybe you will get slammed when you are there. That is what I would do. As a matter of fact I have the printer going right now. How do you tell when anyone steals a joke? I wonder about this. Most things I come up with have been done in some form. I assume the movie industry has come to this conclusion as they are pretty much only coming out with remakes these days. can you show up at the BackDoor on Thursday so I have a chance of getting slammed this week? Thanks Paul. You rule!
"Ilovepaulvarghese" I've just decoded you..and all this time I thought you had forgotten about me. Riddle solved.
For random readers out there: When TomBotts referred to the "Backdoor" he meant the Backdoor Comedy Club here in Dallas. Not what you perverts out there thought it was. check out their website, it's more minimal than mine www.backdoorcomedy.com and McLaughy..I could spill the beans but then I'd be responsible for cleaning up the mess. I will say that even if the joke wasn't swiped from my blog directly, the fact that it's been posted means it's off limits. It was "The Birds and the..." entry mixed in with a comment off that entry. The comic who did it? That stays tucked away in Marsellus Wallace's lit briefcase
Enjoy the cognac room. I know what a big cognac fan you are.
all my white friends take off their shoes when they come to my house. i don`t even have to say anything. hmm.
<3
jency*san
Knock em dead in L.A., Paul. I think I may have inadvertently recorded a portion of your set last nite on my digital thingy. When you get famous I will sell it on E-bay for big bucks. I'm sure it's a bad recording though - bar noise, a punchline, and my loud, oh so freaking loud laughter, so I bet only someone like "ilovepaulvarghese" would pay money for it.
Sold! Would you be interested in a partially eaten bowl of Cookie Crisp? I'll start the bidding at 2 fitty.
Thanks for showing up. I apologize for assuming that everyone knew about BackDoor Comedy being a club. I used your appearance to get some good face time with a hot chick at Cool River (Another club) this weekend. The phone number she gave was real so I might get slammed. Stands up comedy pretty much all out rules. Thanks Paul. You rule too.
Tom, I do hope you find yourself some action soon.
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