Indubitably? Indubitably. Delicious
Did you know they have jelly donuts in the break room?
I never really understood the bagel. It always came off to me as a very pretentious donut
"I don't need sugar or glaze to make me scrumptious. I'm fine being me. In fact if YOU want me to taste better how about YOU put something on me. Toast me. Cream cheese me. I'm fine just being me. But if you have trouble accepting that then that's on you. Cut me in half if you must, but what you're really cutting in half is your own integrity"
Plus bagels are all about the seeds. Why make an already dry food even drier? That's like putting breadcrumbs on a Frito. It's the bland, dry nature of a bagel that made someone invent the donut.
"You know what this bagel's missing? Taste."
Taste is important to food. If it wasn't God wouldn't've put taste buds in the mouth. There's sweet, salty, sour, and bitter. None of which are on an ordinary bagel. If a starving kid had the choice of a bagel or a donut which one would he pick? The donut. Guaranteed. Because afterwards he could lick his sugary-submerged fingers. You lick your fingers after a bagel? You're tasting skin.
I don't like breakfast where I have to make it taste better. Salt and pepper's one thing. But cutting you in half and spreading a topping on you? Who am I, Emeril? Toast may need jam or peanut butter, but I don't need to put scalpel to bread to make it toast. Mrs. Baird's saved me the trouble of such surgery. She even removed the crust. Now if she could just find a way to rid the world of those God-awful end pieces, I just might marry the bitch.
I never really understood the bagel. It always came off to me as a very pretentious donut
"I don't need sugar or glaze to make me scrumptious. I'm fine being me. In fact if YOU want me to taste better how about YOU put something on me. Toast me. Cream cheese me. I'm fine just being me. But if you have trouble accepting that then that's on you. Cut me in half if you must, but what you're really cutting in half is your own integrity"
Plus bagels are all about the seeds. Why make an already dry food even drier? That's like putting breadcrumbs on a Frito. It's the bland, dry nature of a bagel that made someone invent the donut.
"You know what this bagel's missing? Taste."
Taste is important to food. If it wasn't God wouldn't've put taste buds in the mouth. There's sweet, salty, sour, and bitter. None of which are on an ordinary bagel. If a starving kid had the choice of a bagel or a donut which one would he pick? The donut. Guaranteed. Because afterwards he could lick his sugary-submerged fingers. You lick your fingers after a bagel? You're tasting skin.
I don't like breakfast where I have to make it taste better. Salt and pepper's one thing. But cutting you in half and spreading a topping on you? Who am I, Emeril? Toast may need jam or peanut butter, but I don't need to put scalpel to bread to make it toast. Mrs. Baird's saved me the trouble of such surgery. She even removed the crust. Now if she could just find a way to rid the world of those God-awful end pieces, I just might marry the bitch.
posted by Paul at 10:39 AM
2 Comments:
Why are you hating on bagels? First off, bagels are bread, not dessert or pastry. You can't compare them. So, if you hate bagels, you hate bread. Pick on Mrs. Bairds there Mr. Hitler. Sheesh, my people were enslaved by the Pharo, put in ghettos by the Europeans, killed by the Nazis, and then you declare a holocaust on our official bread. Have you ever had a real bagel - like from H&H in New York? It's not like anything you get here. Is the Indian food served here an accurate representation of what real Indian food is to you? I have to go now and blog about how a Chapati tastes like a recycled napkin.
Donuts are bread too, just sugary. Bagels need to come with something different than bread. Mrs. Bairds already has that on lock. Who knew that I had to fly to New York to get a good bagel. Is that where the bagel tree is? By the way, most North Indian food tastes like the restaurants here, but I'm South Indian and we don't have traditional restaurants here. Just ones posing as them.
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