The Day After

I have cupcakes and alcohol in my bloodstream
And someone actually bought a gift for ME

I love the lines people give when YOU get them a gift

"I can't believe you spent that much money on me?"

"I didn't. I stole it. So make sure you don't break it because I didn't steal a receipt"

Sometimes you'll get this line when they give you a present

"Hey before I give you this, just know that I'm not into wrapping gifts."

I'm not into wrapping gifts either, especially when I bought them 10 minutes before the party.

"Hey before I give you this, just know that I'm not into wrapping gifts. I'm also not into taking the price tag off or removing it from this Best Buy bag"

How did Santa Claus just happen to use the same wrapping paper that my mom had in her closet? It's like he wanted to throw me off by having me think that my parents were the ones buying the gifts. He even took the time to learn how to sign his name with my dad's handwriting. Sometimes Santa would give me clothes for Christmas, but I think that was my parents just trying to compete with St. Nick. I aint falling for that. My love for the jolly red-suited man will never falter no matter how many lime green sweaters with matching tube socks you buy me.