Temporaneous Thoughts

I was once fired from a temp job. Yeah, I was only supposed to be there for 2 weeks. One week in, they didn't like what they saw. I tried to explain that I was doing them a favor by putting away their files. They explained that they were doing me a favor by paying me. I agreed. They closed the door in my face. I stole their Post-It notes

The one week I was there, everyone in the office was so excited about Casual Friday. Whose company every saw such a dramatic increase in employee morale based off Casual Friday?

"Bill's become so much more efficient ever since we told him he didn't have to wear underwear on Fridays"

Casual Friday reminded me of junior high when we had shorts day. Everyone else in school was so excited because they got to wear shorts but my skinny legs were happy being hidden for so long. Now shorts day comes around and I'm once again Loser King because I'm the only kid who wasn't wearing shorts. You can tightroll your jeans as high as you want, it's not the same thing.

Not to say that I wouldn't enjoy wearing jeans or not having to wear a tie to work. But dress code was never my issue at a job. Cubicles, co-workers, and the daily delerium and dementia experienced were the bigger problemos.

Plus I don't like bosses. Love Boss Hogg. But who wouldn't love working for a bloated marshmallow with a southern accent? It'd make any job bearable

"Paul, ya got dat memo? I done need yer to get me dum der reports on muh desk or I'll have dem fellers down in payroll tan yer backside, now git! Yeehaw!"

I'm addicted to writing out all quotes in colored font. I really need to change up my style on this blog. This many blogs in, I'm Skittling out.

Anyone else check out the new redhead in Marketing?