KajaGooGoo Gah Gah

I know so much useless 80's / 90's music. One-hit wonders. I know them all. I never knew that such esoteric knowledge would ever come in handy

Until ..

I'm on a flight back from Chicago. The captain announces that the plane's about to make its final descent into Dallas. I get up to go to the bathroom, and the flight attendant stops me

"I'm going to need you to take your seat"

"But I need to go the bathroom"

"Sir, you had your chance"

Wow. Wasn't expecting that. He threw me a condescending curveball. High and tight. Now I'm confused .. befuddled .. that same feeling I had when I found out that Santa was really my dad.

"So that explains whey he was Indian. And all this time, I thought he'd just been outsourced"

So now I'm standing there. Everybody on the plane looking at me, as if I started something. That's the disadvantage to people who come in half-way on an obvious conflict. They don't care to find out about the backstory. They just instantly sympathize with whoever's lighter. I'm guilty of it too. If I see my dad arguing with a white man, I immediately take the white man's side. Because obviously my dad must be at fault, and even if he's not, he needs to apologize because we all know .. white people sue

But I'm there, face-to-face with Bob the Belittler and I have not a comeback in my pocket at all. Nothing. A couple of dimes. My cellphone. But not one ounce of sarcasm. Not even amongst the lint.

Then it hits me. I look into his eyes .. with all the seriousness of a lumberjack reading Field and Stream .. and say

"All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom-and-a-boom-boom. Su-Su-Sudio"

I win.