Lazy Shade of Winter

My favorite new drink? The Screwdriver. Vodka with Orange Juice .. because I still want liver damage, but I don't want the sniffles.

Jagermeister's probably the most entertaining of all the thicker liquors. Because drinking Jager is unlike any other type of alcohol ever invented. It's Satan in liquid form. And anyone who's never had Jager, doesn't understand that, so they think they can fathom what it's like

"I've never had Jager. But I have had tequila"

that's like saying ..

"You know I've never been attacked by a grizzly bear, but I have been tickled by a really hairy guy. You know I've never shopped at Nordstrom's, but one time, I did buy a $400 shirt at Wal-Mart"

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I'm not allowed to be sick. I can't second-guess my body. I have no insurance. All my friends have insurance and much more .. Dental insurance, medical insurance, 401K, or as I like to call them ..

Friends with " Benefits "

They have Blue Cross. I have Finger Cross .. with a 'knock-on-wood' deductible

This is the only time in my life that procrastination is beneficial. Because if the doctor gave me 2 weeks to live .. I'd take a month. My friends would be so confused

"I thought Paul was supposed to be dead?"

"You know Paul. He's supposed to die on Monday. He won't actually start DYING dying until Tuesday. In fact, 50 bucks says he won't even start losing vision until Wednesday"

I'm not a decisive person but I'm definitely Pro-Crastination. My parents raised me to be Anti-Crastination. But crastinating is so much easier on the soul. Why type up daily blogs when I can crastinate and type one once a week?