Gap-athy
Wow. It's been over 2 weeks since thoughts have fallen onto blogger paper from the braincloud up above. I could say that today is the start of something new. Blogs every day every which way. I know I know. I made a resolution. Which I can still fulfill and sustain by over-blogging. I mean come on, last week I got my own laptop. I'm I-Booking it now. I can whip it out on a daily, anytime basis, much like my sarcasm and general disdain for anything Tyra Banks-related. I have an Ipod. Not only can I scribble down musings, but when creatively lulled, I can re-inspire the fire within by jamming out to Hall and Oates.
"I wanna be the drummer for an acapella group"
I also have a video camera now, which means one of two things
1) I"m giving up comedy to start my "own private business"
2) There'll be random video clips of my standup and whatever I feel needs to be videotaped. Wouldn't you like to know what's in my fridge?
"Isn't Sleeping Beauty really a Beauty whose Sleeping? Because I can't imagine anyone being beautiful while they sleep. Unless you consider drooling and random acts of twitching a sign of gorgeousnessessess. If that's the case, epilepsy would be considered "hot""
So this week won't be the start of anything new. I'm in a wedding. Not my own, but the own of one of my best friend's. And I'm the best man.
By the way if you'd like to drop an application off to be my best man, you can start by joining my MySpace page or my Friendster page. I need atleast 2 references and yes, sometimes, the best man can be a woman (if butch enough)
It's going to be a really interesting wedding. My friend Charles is marrying a Hispanic girl. So the Indian cultures and Mexican cultures will collide this Saturday. Of course both cultures have a lot in common
1) We're both immigrants
2) We both have the best food
3) We're both under-represented on TV
4) We both are mistaken for the other
5) We both never need to tan
I definitely have more respect for her culture because of the arduous journey her family probably endured to get here. They had to deal with Border Patrol. Immigration vans. Racist Texas state troopers.
My parents? Flew Air India. My dad landed in Los Angeles. His brother picked him up. The only thing they endured to get here was flying in coach.
That being said, I know the struggle for any immigrant is always mental. You're leaving everything you've known your whole life to uproot to a country where everything is reversed. Speaking just for Indian immigrants, you've now transformed from being the majority in your country to being a minority. That's an incredible culture shock. It's like any of us here in the U.S moving to India (and yes, even if I go to India they view me as American. It might have something to do with my Gap Jeans and Kenneth Cole shoes and lack of accent). It'd be like if we were to move to India and instead of being able to have the same job we had back in the U.S, we had to work in a factory assembly line building welding equipment.
My uncles moved here over a year ago and just the traffic (well the lack of) blew them away. Because if you've never been to India, let me tell ya.. they share the road with everything. People. Bicycles. Cows. Rickshaws. Dogs. Things that if they ran onto a major highway here would shut down traffic for 2 hours. No, over in India there's no such thing as a traffic report. It's always trafficky. They have reports when there is no traffic.
"Good morning, this is Akshay Rajakumar in Chopper 8. Looks like you're gonna have a clean commute coming into New Delhi. There's absolutely no signs of life, human or bovine. Either one of two things has happened. The Christian rapture is upon us and apparently Jesus took about 2 billion Hindus with him as well. Or our traffic jams have just been outsourced to Los Angeles. Now I'm heading back to the studio and turning in my ID badge, because without anything to report up here in Chopper 8, it looks like I'm gonna have to get another job. Back to you Prakash"
Both of my uncles now have their drivers' licenses. Both have their own cars. One of them asked where all the cows were and I told him.
"In America, we don't have cows. We have pigs. And they drive cop cars."
"I wanna be the drummer for an acapella group"
I also have a video camera now, which means one of two things
1) I"m giving up comedy to start my "own private business"
2) There'll be random video clips of my standup and whatever I feel needs to be videotaped. Wouldn't you like to know what's in my fridge?
"Isn't Sleeping Beauty really a Beauty whose Sleeping? Because I can't imagine anyone being beautiful while they sleep. Unless you consider drooling and random acts of twitching a sign of gorgeousnessessess. If that's the case, epilepsy would be considered "hot""
So this week won't be the start of anything new. I'm in a wedding. Not my own, but the own of one of my best friend's. And I'm the best man.
By the way if you'd like to drop an application off to be my best man, you can start by joining my MySpace page or my Friendster page. I need atleast 2 references and yes, sometimes, the best man can be a woman (if butch enough)
It's going to be a really interesting wedding. My friend Charles is marrying a Hispanic girl. So the Indian cultures and Mexican cultures will collide this Saturday. Of course both cultures have a lot in common
1) We're both immigrants
2) We both have the best food
3) We're both under-represented on TV
4) We both are mistaken for the other
5) We both never need to tan
I definitely have more respect for her culture because of the arduous journey her family probably endured to get here. They had to deal with Border Patrol. Immigration vans. Racist Texas state troopers.
My parents? Flew Air India. My dad landed in Los Angeles. His brother picked him up. The only thing they endured to get here was flying in coach.
That being said, I know the struggle for any immigrant is always mental. You're leaving everything you've known your whole life to uproot to a country where everything is reversed. Speaking just for Indian immigrants, you've now transformed from being the majority in your country to being a minority. That's an incredible culture shock. It's like any of us here in the U.S moving to India (and yes, even if I go to India they view me as American. It might have something to do with my Gap Jeans and Kenneth Cole shoes and lack of accent). It'd be like if we were to move to India and instead of being able to have the same job we had back in the U.S, we had to work in a factory assembly line building welding equipment.
My uncles moved here over a year ago and just the traffic (well the lack of) blew them away. Because if you've never been to India, let me tell ya.. they share the road with everything. People. Bicycles. Cows. Rickshaws. Dogs. Things that if they ran onto a major highway here would shut down traffic for 2 hours. No, over in India there's no such thing as a traffic report. It's always trafficky. They have reports when there is no traffic.
"Good morning, this is Akshay Rajakumar in Chopper 8. Looks like you're gonna have a clean commute coming into New Delhi. There's absolutely no signs of life, human or bovine. Either one of two things has happened. The Christian rapture is upon us and apparently Jesus took about 2 billion Hindus with him as well. Or our traffic jams have just been outsourced to Los Angeles. Now I'm heading back to the studio and turning in my ID badge, because without anything to report up here in Chopper 8, it looks like I'm gonna have to get another job. Back to you Prakash"
Both of my uncles now have their drivers' licenses. Both have their own cars. One of them asked where all the cows were and I told him.
"In America, we don't have cows. We have pigs. And they drive cop cars."
posted by Paul at 9:32 AM
4 Comments:
Hmmmm. Mexican Indian? Sounds like some good eatin.
I went to your myspace place. that's a lot of sh*t to keep up with. In your friends section it says that Tom is not my friend. Can I still apply for the best man thing?
need more stuff to read at work - pls post soon!
I feel like the Omega Man here!
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