In a Nutshell..
If my life of the past few weeks were to fit on the inside flap of a book cover a.k.a the synopsis
1. I got a laptop
2. I was the Best Man at my friend's wedding which resulted in me and the rest of the bachelor party attendees being detained in Mexico
3. I worked my first ever weekend at the D.C Improv (unbelievably great time)
4. I'm about to embark on a tour that'll have me hitting 16 cities
5. The look to my website is slightly changed as I try to figure out how I want it to look. There's still editing that needs to be done with it, but I'm still trying to figure out how to fix it all (Big Kudos out to Tim for the tutorial)
Now numbers 1, 4, and 5 are boring "to be expected" blog topics. But we here at Blogalisa don't want to bore you with daily semantics. Who cares that I have an absolutely deplorably horrific cellphone bill. Who cares that the heat from my laptop singed the hairs on my leg? Does anyone want to see pictures of my travels?
If you do, you're lame. We don't want you here to read this. We are here to serve the delusionally self-centered quasi psychotic mentally challenged folks much like myself...so let's divulge into madness yet again
SPLOOSH
Number 3: D.C blah blah blah. I'm sure it was historic. Nothing historic in my hotel room..or the Subway that I had lunch at a few times. That weekend was my first with my laptop (I call him Gargamel). The hotel I stayed at had free wi-fi but that was only available on the lower level, in the "business center". Apparently they were trying to save money on engraving. Because the room placard should've read "business center that has a gas leak". It's the only time in my life I was contracting carpal tunnel and brain damage at the same time. But that's how happy I was to get free broadband internet access. I risked overdosing on propane fumes just so I could find out how many points Dirk Nowitzki scored against the Pistons. My vision was blurry. I hobbled out of there like someone removed my kneecaps, but man... was it worth it
Number 2: The story of my Mexico experience. It's 2:41 a.m and I don't feel like typing too much, but I will leave it at this. If you're not a citizen of the United States and you're a friend of the groom and you want to hang at the bachelor party for just a little longer, please I REPEAT please don't come across the border with us and think you can sneak back by sitting in the backseat...especially when you have someone of my melanin content driving you through. I'm going to get profiled for other reasons as is. We will get pulled over regardless.. and now all of sudden they'll think I'm some kind of immigrant smuggler?
Let the cavity search begin!
You know even to this day I still get recognized for my 2 minutes of fame on Last Comic Standing. It's still flattering whenever someone makes a fuss. I've been recognized in the weirdest places: grocery store, airport security, even at a strip club by strippers. But when the Texas/Mexico border patrol recognizes you, that's just an entirely different realm of awkwardness
Because how do you keep your sanity when they're asking you to repeat the "Boogeyman" joke and spread your ass cheeks at the same time?
1. I got a laptop
2. I was the Best Man at my friend's wedding which resulted in me and the rest of the bachelor party attendees being detained in Mexico
3. I worked my first ever weekend at the D.C Improv (unbelievably great time)
4. I'm about to embark on a tour that'll have me hitting 16 cities
5. The look to my website is slightly changed as I try to figure out how I want it to look. There's still editing that needs to be done with it, but I'm still trying to figure out how to fix it all (Big Kudos out to Tim for the tutorial)
Now numbers 1, 4, and 5 are boring "to be expected" blog topics. But we here at Blogalisa don't want to bore you with daily semantics. Who cares that I have an absolutely deplorably horrific cellphone bill. Who cares that the heat from my laptop singed the hairs on my leg? Does anyone want to see pictures of my travels?
If you do, you're lame. We don't want you here to read this. We are here to serve the delusionally self-centered quasi psychotic mentally challenged folks much like myself...so let's divulge into madness yet again
SPLOOSH
Number 3: D.C blah blah blah. I'm sure it was historic. Nothing historic in my hotel room..or the Subway that I had lunch at a few times. That weekend was my first with my laptop (I call him Gargamel). The hotel I stayed at had free wi-fi but that was only available on the lower level, in the "business center". Apparently they were trying to save money on engraving. Because the room placard should've read "business center that has a gas leak". It's the only time in my life I was contracting carpal tunnel and brain damage at the same time. But that's how happy I was to get free broadband internet access. I risked overdosing on propane fumes just so I could find out how many points Dirk Nowitzki scored against the Pistons. My vision was blurry. I hobbled out of there like someone removed my kneecaps, but man... was it worth it
Number 2: The story of my Mexico experience. It's 2:41 a.m and I don't feel like typing too much, but I will leave it at this. If you're not a citizen of the United States and you're a friend of the groom and you want to hang at the bachelor party for just a little longer, please I REPEAT please don't come across the border with us and think you can sneak back by sitting in the backseat...especially when you have someone of my melanin content driving you through. I'm going to get profiled for other reasons as is. We will get pulled over regardless.. and now all of sudden they'll think I'm some kind of immigrant smuggler?
Let the cavity search begin!
You know even to this day I still get recognized for my 2 minutes of fame on Last Comic Standing. It's still flattering whenever someone makes a fuss. I've been recognized in the weirdest places: grocery store, airport security, even at a strip club by strippers. But when the Texas/Mexico border patrol recognizes you, that's just an entirely different realm of awkwardness
Because how do you keep your sanity when they're asking you to repeat the "Boogeyman" joke and spread your ass cheeks at the same time?
posted by Paul at 2:44 AM
4 Comments:
hi there, i found your blog via a few girls on flog. and no i didn't mean to rhyme. anyway i wanted to say that you should post a notice BEFORE you hit the cities on tour. i live in dc and would have loved to see you perform.
I do. It's on my website (www.paulvarghese.com) It has all my appearances. Trust me, I'm not that stupid. I don't post shows after I've been there. They're all on my website, way in advance. I just don't post them on the blog. My website's listed in my profile section on the right-hand side of the screen.
This laptop thing? Is that better than pad and paper? Obviously a stupid question I know but you have brought it up quite a bit on the last few BLOG entries. I thought it was more for hotel entertainment after the groupies leave. Do you still write jokes on paper in case your drive hoses?
Yes, What happens after the groupies leave?
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